I love to squat.
The movement represents who I am.
I am complete when I am squatting.
The barbell is heavy.
As it presses down on my shoulders and I tense my body.
The steel and I become one.
We move together. Fluidly.
I don’t resist gravity.
I flow with the gravity and use it to let me lower into the squat.
The gravity helps me build the tension to rebound.
Every movement is intentional.
Every fiber of muscle and mind are aware.
I am present.
Focusing on position and form.
The iron body drops into the hole.
Then I choose.
I choose at that point if I am going to get stronger today.
I choose that I will do the work.
With intensity and intention, I drive up.
Through the difficult points.
Not suppressing the inner demons.
But recruiting them.
They are part of who I am.
They are on the team.
We work together.
A guttural yell.
The rest of the world is black.
It is just me and the squat.
Hips open at the top.
I breathe in.
The world comes rushing back.
More vivid than ever.
More real than ever.
Rack the bar.
Too tired to show it.
But smiling on the inside.